Aunt Flow is a B&%$@

She came to visit today. Crying has ensued.  I texted J.D. demanding a puppy and wine. The puppy is a no go as we have already met our apartment's two pet maximum with Paisley and Patrick (our cats). Well at least I can drink at our college's homecoming this weekend and the next weekend's wedding??? That's a silver lining, right? Kind of?

J.D. has now compared baby making to football. He is a highschool coach. It was an amusing analogy but since my knowledge of football is limited I cannot repeat it right. Something about being on the 40 yard line and getting pushed back and if we wanna win....

On another note, infertility has infiltrated even the simple show of One Tree Hill. (Yes, I watch it religiously.)  Brooke Davis cannot get pregnant. The exchange between Brooke and her six year old godson, Jamie was priceless this week.

Jamie: "Aunt Brooke, where do babies come from?"
Brooke: "Not from me."

To Whom it May Concern

Dear happy, healthy pregnant lady,

Thank you for:

a. Showing me your ultrasound pictures.

b. Texting me the sex of your baby.

c. Inviting me to your baby shower.

I am truly happy for you. However, if you are friendly enough with me to share these things, please be a friend and acknowledge the following:

a. How lucky you are that you saw a heartbeat at the ultrasound and you made it far along enough to find out the sex

b. After four miscarriages, I may not want to go to a party surrounded by baby things,when I never got to buy any for my babies

I really do not mind you sharing these things with me. I am after all your friend, so I like sharing in your happiness. But please do not ignore my losses because, as my friend, you should at least take them into consideration.

Sincerely,
Me

5DPO

So today is day 18 of my cycle. When I went to the bathroom before putting in the progesterone suppository, there was blood on the toilet paper. Implantation bleeding perhaps???? The irony of actually being excited and hopeful about blood on the toilet paper, when usually it brings fear and/or disappointment, is not lost on me.

I have already gotten in touch with a new ob/gyn office here and have given the nurse the run down of my losses and luteal phase defect. Basically, I have given them the heads up that I am going to need lots and lots of attention if I got pregnant this cycle. If I didn't I want to discuss Chlomid which I have been resisting the use of up until now. But I am tired of wasting time.

So here's hoping I got pregnant this cycle not that it neccessarily means I will wind up with a baby.

I'm Still Here

In the last couple of months there have been quite a few events. Here's an update:
J.D. finally got a teaching job in our home state of Michigan.

Most of July and August was spent getting ready for the move to MI from VA, where we lived and J.D. taught the last two years.

We are thrilled to finally be back where we have family.

I was diagnosed with a luteal phase defect so it is 400mg of Prometrium for me.

We are trying to save for a house.

Currently, I am TTC, trying to find work, and dealing with all those babies born to my friends that were previously 600 miles away.

Oct 3 J.D. and I will attend the Share Annual Walk for Rememberance and Hope.